Inventory

There is nothing to see here.
Why are you still here?
Don't you have something better to do?
It's a waste of time even trying.
You should go do something else.
Stop reading this, just go home!
Why are you doing this?
This place is not for you.
Just go away already!
You aren't gonna achieve anything by going further down.
Some call this place "The Void"
Darkness.
Sadness.
Disappointment.
Nothingness.
All things that you are experiencing.
But are you really experiencing anything though?
What is this?
What is life?
What is everything?
Why are we here?
What is our purpose here?
Why do we do as we do?
What is the point?
Is there even a point?
Or is everything just.... pointless?
Just.... random connections in our brains, making us feel stuff.
Or is there a deeper meaning of all this?
Why am I doing this?
Don't I have anything better to do?
Should I have anything better to do?
Who am I?
Who are you?
Do you know?
Do I know?
Does anyone know?
Does anyone know anything?
Why do people think?
What is like?
What is hate?
What is love?
Why does people experience love?
Why does some people not experience love?
Why are some people always sad?
Why are some people depressed?
Why are some people happy?
Why are some people sick?
What is sickness?
Why does it exist?
What is good?
What is bad?
Am I weird?
Or am I normal?
What is weird?
And what is Normal?
Is there something wrong with me?
What is wrong?
And what is right?
I might not be ok.
What is ok?
And what is not ok?
Why am I questioning all of this?
Why am I questioning my questioning?
Should I stop?
Or should I not?
Who decides what I should and shouldn't?
Why are they the one to decide?
Why not someone else?
And if someone else, why them?
Why does someone even decide what I should and what I shouldn't?
Why do I keep doing this?
When will it end?
Or rather.
When will I end?
How will I end?
Will it actually end?
What is an end?
What is a start?
Why is there an end?
Why is there a start?
What decides that something has to start?
This has gone on for too long.
It needs to end.
Or does it?
Why would it?
What decides if something is too long?
Should something be able to get too long?
It's stupid thinking about all of this.
I don't like thinking.
But I do it all the time.
It annoys me.
Makes me go crazy.
All the nasty thoughts.
All the time.
Sometimes the voices.
They never shut up!
They just keep telling me what to do.
They keep telling me I have to be better.
They always tell me the worst of every situation.
Never stops.
They never stop!
I feel trapped.
I feel scared.
I feel sad.
I feel sick.
I feel insecure.
I feel confused.
I feel nervous.
I feel embarrased.
I feel paranoid.
I dont like showing it.
I dont like showing anything... at all.
So I hide.
But its hard.
And people dont understand it.
People dont understand me.
If you sense me as "Weird"
Don't judge.
Don't make it worse.
Don't make me worse.
I need help.
But I dont want help.
I just wanna sit and be.
Just be whatever life brings me to be.