Inventory

https://soundcloud.com/user-952243735

One day, when I was 14, I went to the bathroom to take a ♥♥♥♥. It was what felt and smelled like a regular ♥♥♥♥, until I was pushing out that last turd - for some reason, I couldn't push it out of my body, no matter how much force I put into it. I should mention that I had a bad habit as a kid of spending way too much time sitting on the toilet looking at my phone, a habit which my mother disdained. After spending a good 30 minutes trying to finish, I began to worry that because I had been sitting on the toilet for a prolonged length of time, the piece of ♥♥♥♥ lodged in my rectum might actually be my prolapsed ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ popping out of my butt.

This sounds pretty ridiculous but I had coincidentally just recently learned from the Internet what a prolapsed ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is, so it only took a short period of panic for me to come to this unfortunate conclusion. Scared and wanting to preserve my defeated rectum for the hospital to fix, I folded up some toilet paper and tried to shove my butthole back into my butthole. It kind of worked - it was back inside and my hole was no longer dilated. Interestingly, there was nothing on the toilet paper after I did this, so it further entertained my belief that it was not a piece of ♥♥♥♥ but actually my flesh that was poking out.

Once I was out of the bathroom, I was completely unable to relax my rectum; it felt like if I relaxed it, it would all come falling out immediately. I was pretty terrified at this point, fearing that my butthole was ruined and that I would need to get surgery to repair it. After a couple of hours of desperate Googling, I worked up the courage to tell my mom what happened and to ask her for help with my broken ass. I went to her room, woke her up, and told her that my butthole was falling out of my butt. Mom simply told me, "I TOLD you not to be in there for so long. I knew this would happen. Put some Vaseline on it," and went back to sleep.

My mother's loving words did little to assuage my despair. I felt like a shell of a person for the whole day, having to keep my ass clenched for hours, unable to even sit comfortably. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I said "♥♥♥♥ it," and decided to go relax my ass on the toilet. If it was already prolapsed, I figured I might as well let it be prolapsed. So I went to the bathroom, sat down, and pushed. I did this in tears thinking that I would have a little ballsack hanging out of my butthole when I was done.

A couple minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom with a regular butthole and empty bowels. Turns out that it was actually a hard piece of ♥♥♥♥ that was lodged in my anus all day, waiting right at the gates of my ass, which is what caused the discomfort. So now I spend a maximum of five minutes in the bathroom, for my own sanity.